WELCOME TO LIFEPOINTE CHURCH!

Have you ever had someone in your life that…

• That seemed to DIMINISH YOU
• That caused you to OPERATE AS HALF OF YOURSELF
• That squashed a PIECE OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL
• MADE YOU UNSETTLED just by the way they projected themselves?

Maybe it is someone who is an over-the-top NARCISSISTIC

• Or the distrust feelings while being with a GOSSIPER
• Or the anxious feelings of being a future the topic of your CRITICAL “friend”
• Or the subservience feelings while standing down to a BULLY
• Or the insecure feelings as you hope things are still good with a PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
• Or maybe even the emotional drain of an ever-complaining NEGATIVE person.

How do you DEAL WITH such people? How do you STAY HEALTHY and RETAIN ENERGY for life? How do you REGULATE and live as your WHOLE SELF, rather than a DIMINISHED VERSION of you?

We created the 3-part series below to equip you with the tools to deal with the difficult people in your life. Watch and then join us this Easter at LifePointe Church (details below). Also, we invite you to take our survey at the bottom of the page. 

EPISODE ONE:  PEOPLE VERSUS ME-OPLE

PSALM 23:1-6 NKJV [David said] The LORD [is] my shepherd; I SHALL NOT WANT. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 HE RESTORES MY SOUL; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. SLIDE 05 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL; For YOU [ARE] WITH ME; Your rod and Your staff, they COMFORT ME. 5 You prepare a table before me in the PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES; You ANOINT MY HEAD with oil; MY CUP RUNS OVER. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.

TRUTH:

It’s NOT about dealing with DIFFICULT PEOPLE;

it’s about dealing with DIFFICULT ME-OPLE.

POWER STATEMENT:

We must FIRST shift our focus from DIFFICULT PEOPLE;

to nurturing a HEALTHY ME-OPLE.

1 SAMUEL 16:11 NIV So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?" "There is still the YOUNGEST," Jesse answered. "He is tending the sheep." Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives."

1 SAMUEL 17:28 NLT But when David's oldest brother, Eliab, heard David talking to the men, he was angry. "What are you doing around here anyway?" he demanded. "What about those few sheep you're supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and deceit. You just want to see the battle!"

PSALM 69:4 NLT [David said] Those who HATE ME without cause OUTNUMBER THE HAIRS on my head. Many ENEMIES TRY TO DESTROY ME with lies…

PSALM 143:1, 3-11 NKJV [David said] Hear my prayer, O LORD, Give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me, [And] in Your righteousness. ... 3 For THE ENEMY has PERSECUTED (HARASS) MY SOUL; He has CRUSHED MY LIFE to the ground; He has made me DWELL IN DARKNESS, like those who have long been dead. 4 Therefore MY SPIRIT IS OVERWHELMED within me; MY HEART within me is DISTRESSED. 5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. 6 I spread out my hands to You; My soul [longs] for You like a thirsty land. Selah 7 Answer me speedily, O LORD; MY SPIRIT FAILS! Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those who GO DOWN INTO THE PIT. 8 Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I LIFT UP MY SOUL TO YOU. 9 Deliver me, O LORD, from my enemies; In You I take shelter. 10 Teach me to do Your will, For You [are] my God; Your Spirit [is] good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. 11 REVIVE ME, O LORD, for Your name's sake! For Your righteousness' sake BRING MY SOUL OUT OF TROUBLE.

SELF INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

• SELF-QUESTION #1 – “When I’m alone – and the recording loops are playing in my head – am I grieved, anxious or depressed?” 
• SELF-QUESTION #2 – “Am I easily triggered, even when I least expect it?”
• SELF-QUESTION #3 – “Do I have energy to care, activate and execute on the things I theoretically know I should?”
• SELF-QUESTION #4 – “Do I ‘hate’ a lot of things – life events, people, my job, my marriage, my life, or myself?”
• SELF-QUESTION #5 – “When I’m with people - both those whom I am closest to and those that I simply encounter – do I FEEL affection, joy, and wonder towards them?”
• SELF-QUESTION #6 – “Do I FEEL affection, joy, and wonder towards God, His promises and hopes for my future?”

DRAINS

• News/Media
• Social Media Posts
• Reading Product Reviews
• Critical Reviews
• Sports Losses
• Authority Relationships
• Subordinate Relationships
• Peer Relationships
• Stresses (Economic, Health)
• Grievous Memories

MATTHEW 11:29 NKJV [Jesus said] Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find REST for your SOULS.

PSALM 119:28 NKJV [David said] My SOUL melts from heaviness; STRENGTHEN me according to Your word.

PSALM 25:13, 17, 20 KJV [David said] (My) SOUL shall dwell at EASE; ... 17 The TROUBLES of my HEART are ENLARGED: [O] bring thou me out of my DISTRESSES. ... 20 O KEEP my SOUL, and deliver me: let me NOT BE ASHAMED; for I put MY TRUST IN THEE.

CHARGES (SATURATION)

• Worship
• Thankfulness
• The Word
• Prayer
• Declarations
• Church “Experience” Environments
• Healthy Relationships
• Rest
• Unhurried Life-Focus
• Hopeful Imaginations

JOHN 4:34 NKJV Jesus said to them, "My FOOD is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.”

ACTION STEPS

1.   How will you overhaul at least ONE SYSTEM to STOP the DRAINS?

2.   How will you overhaul at least ONE SYSTEM to BOOST your CHARGE?

Write it down now. Tell somebody you trust. Come be our guest at LifePointe Church!

EPISODE TWO:  PUT A COMMA ON THE DRAMA!

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Do You Find Yourself Trending Towards…

• Seriousness
• Irritability
• Impatience
• “Not caring”
• Being stuck
• Absence of hopeful Imaginations
• Unfeeling

POWER STATEMENT:

Emotional health

requires I

put a COMMA

in the DRAMA!

WHY WE ALLOW DRAMA

• We are unaware of drama’s impact on our brain
• We are fatigued emotionally  
• We think drama increases our connection with others 

HOW DO WE STOP THE DRAMA?

• Remember, I’m NOT a DRAMA STORY
• Refuse the DELUSION of perfection
• Remember, I can’t CONTROL people or things
• Ask, “WHAT CHOICES do I have?”

DRAINS (MORE EXPLANATION)

• News/Media
• Social Media Posts
• Reading Product Reviews
• Critical Reviews
• Sports Losses
• Authority Relationships
• Subordinate Relationships
• Peer Relationships
• Stresses (Economic, Health)
• Grievous Memories

CHARGES (SATURATION)

• Worship
• Thankfulness
• The Word
• Prayer
• Declarations
• Church “Experience” Environments
• Healthy Relationships
• Rest
• Unhurried Life-Focus
• Hopeful Imaginations

EPHESIANS 4:17, 19, 23, 27, 29, 31-32 NKJV [Paul said] This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer WALK as the rest of the Gentiles [outsiders] walk, in the FUTILITY (frailty) OF THEIR MIND, ... 19 who, being PAST FEELING (cease to feel pain or grief – callous and apathetic), have given themselves over to LEWDNESS (lack of restraint), to work all uncleanness with greediness. ... 23 and be RENEWED in the SPIRIT OF YOUR MIND… 27 nor give PLACE to the DEVIL. ... 29 Let NO CORRUPT WORD (putrefied, poor or unfit, worthless) proceed out of your mouth, but what is GOOD (joyful, excellent, honorable) for necessary EDIFICATION (builds up, stirs heart in holiness), that it may IMPART GRACE to the hearers. ... 31 Let all BITTERNESS, WRATH, ANGER, CLAMOR (outcry, grievous sharing), and EVIL SPEAKING be put away from you, with all MALICE (desire to injure or cause trouble). 32 And be KIND to one another, TENDERHEARTED, FORGIVING one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

ACTION STEPS

1.   How will you overhaul at least ONE SYSTEM to STOP the DRAINS?

2.   How will you overhaul at least ONE SYSTEM to BOOST your CHARGE?

Write it down now. Tell somebody you trust. Come be our guest at LifePointe Church!

EPISODE THREE:  WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?

YOU HAVE A CHOICE

The greatest gift God has given each of us is the power of choice. We always have a choice. This ability to choose, even in the most difficult of situations, empowers us to set perimeters for ourselves and others, for what we want and don’t want. From verbal perimeters, to psychological and emotional markers, to physical bounds, we have a choice to allow or disallow others in.

• What is a boundary?
• How do our boundaries galvanize our sense of identity?
• How do we know if someone crossed a boundary?
• How do we set boundaries without controlling people?
• How do boundaries make me more generous, rather than selfish?

PHYSICAL VIOLATIONS

• Moving into your personal space
• Touching you without permission
• Being inappropriate or too familiar
• Touching or handling things that belong to you
• Violating privacy (cell phones, computers, social media contacts, personal records)
• Damaging or destroying personal property
• Threatening you with personal harm

VERBAL VIOLATIONS

• Not allowing you to speak or be heard
• Raising their voice / Screaming at you
• Saying derogatory or inflammatory things about your integrity
• Gossiping about you

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL VIOLATIONS

• Preying on your sense of Self and Self-esteem
• Using what you told in confidence as a weapon against you
• Lying to you
• Criticizing, demeaning, judging and manipulating you
• Making fun of you, your thoughts, feelings and beliefs
• Trying to make you feel guilty or responsible for a situation
• Making demands of your time and energy
• Shaming or embarrassing you
• Bullying you
• Assuring you their thoughts are superior to yours

JAMES 5:12 NKJV But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your "YES" BE "YES," and [your] "NO," "NO," lest you fall into JUDGMENT(hypókrisis – hypocrisy – the acting of a stage player).

• God is the Author of boundaries
• Jesus preached and modeled boundaries 

WHY BOUNDARIES?

• To guard the image of God in you
• To guard the health of your heart
• To be more generous

HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES

1. How am I DOING?
2. Why am I UNCOMFORTABLE?
3. What do I WANT?
4. How will I COMMUNICATE what I want?
5. How will I ENFORCE consequences to the relationship?

CALL TO ACTION

1. What is ONE RELATIONSHIP or SCENARIO for which you will immediately work through these FIVE BOUNDARY STEPS?
2. What HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS will you have for SUPPORT on your BOUNDARY TEAM?